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PlayStation MVP
Registered: 12/16/2008
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Re: Why Has my Account been Deleted?

Feb 6, 2011

Surveys generally come a week or two later when you've had time to relax.

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Fender Bender
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Re: Why Has my Account been Deleted?

Feb 6, 2011

potatobreath wrote:

Surveys generally come a week or two later when you've had time to relax.

Thank you, I will post if the surveys do come...

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Fender Bender
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Re: Why Has my Account been Deleted?

Feb 7, 2011

Actually after thinking about it, and all that has happened in the past 4 years... I don't like these forums or the people who run them, the people who run and make stuff for HOME and most games on the platforms, and even though I will not stop playing games on my PS3, I have decided even in an envioronment that I should feel comfortable in and feel like part of the community, dispite my constant efforts to be part of the community, I just don't fit even here... This was supposed to be like a safe haven for me, a place to be myself, yet its just more of the conformity, ristricting enviornment I have gotten used to in my time as a person and Gamer... lol to think I spent so much time trying to improve and be part of this kind of community... they ARE all the same, just hidden behind different faces and Names. Individuals make up this enviornment, and I have not met many individuals here that I would want to meet in real life. This will be my last post... and this time I will not make the mistake of returning to this community, I came back by accident, and when I realized, I stayed, to see if the amount of people would change the feel of the community, yet it just more of the same kinds...much much more...

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I Only Post Everything
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Re: Why Has my Account been Deleted?

Feb 15, 2012

Sounds like Life in general, actually...

Home, like Life, is what you make it. If you find yourself constantly fighting an uphill battle, perhaps it is better to redirect your efforts in another direction.

Since there are over 7 billion people on this planet, NOTHING is going to be right for everyone. This environment simply may not be for you. That's okay, too.

Enjoy your gaming, and perhaps check back into Home and even the Forums once in awhile. You'd be surprised how time changes your atittude and interests...

Safe travels to you.

My POV: Enjoy YOUR Home experience, without forcing it on those around you.
RESPECT is FREE. You will get what you give.
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PlayStation MVP
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Re: Why Has my Account been Deleted?

Feb 15, 2012

That may be true, but it's a year since Patchex expressed those comments. I wonder how she feels today.

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Fender Bender
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Re: Why Has my Account been Deleted?

Feb 18, 2012

Patchex wrote:

Actually after thinking about it, and all that has happened in the past 4 years... I don't like these forums or the people who run them, the people who run and make stuff for HOME and most games on the platforms, and even though I will not stop playing games on my PS3, I have decided even in an envioronment that I should feel comfortable in and feel like part of the community, dispite my constant efforts to be part of the community, I just don't fit even here... This was supposed to be like a safe haven for me, a place to be myself, yet its just more of the conformity, ristricting enviornment I have gotten used to in my time as a person and Gamer... lol to think I spent so much time trying to improve and be part of this kind of community... they ARE all the same, just hidden behind different faces and Names. Individuals make up this enviornment, and I have not met many individuals here that I would want to meet in real life. This will be my last post... and this time I will not make the mistake of returning to this community, I came back by accident, and when I realized, I stayed, to see if the amount of people would change the feel of the community, yet it just more of the same kinds...much much more...

ImM0Zb0 wrote:

Sounds like Life in general, actually...

Home, like Life, is what you make it. If you find yourself constantly fighting an uphill battle, perhaps it is better to redirect your efforts in another direction.

Since there are over 7 billion people on this planet, NOTHING is going to be right for everyone. This environment simply may not be for you. That's okay, too.

Enjoy your gaming, and perhaps check back into Home and even the Forums once in awhile. You'd be surprised how time changes your atittude and interests...

Safe travels to you.

My POV: Enjoy YOUR Home experience, without forcing it on those around you.

potatobreath wrote:

That may be true, but it's a year since Patchex expressed those comments. I wonder how she feels today.

I had planned on making that my last post, and sadly I have not found any reason to stay really. Same stuff happening that was then. I still have less then a handful of people I would be willing to meet in real life, all of which are not close enough geographically to even think about a real life meet up. I had worked very hard to improve the Community I took pride in being a part of.

HOME is what you make of it, Sadly most do not know what I tried to make of it, for not only myself yet many many others. I do not always find myself fighting uphill battles, yet I do often try to correct or help fix problems I find in Systems I own and Programs like PS HOME I participate in. Which I think I would have made me a great tester, possibly a better critic lol. Yet with out a critic in the crowd there would be no progress.

Even though there are almost 7 billion people on earth, I have only seen the number 2 million being HOME users. My numbers could be off... yet out of that number I wonder how many are really gamers. Cause HOME was supposed to cater to the Gaming community. I am a Gamer, Games come first in a Gaming community to me... other things are secondary, yet that does not mean they are not important to, just that they should not take presidence over the Gaming aspect. As for it not being the environment for me... well if a gaming community environment is not the place for a Gamer of my background, then it did not reach its goal as a gamers community, at least from my view.

I most likely will not be "checking in" to HOME anywhere in the near future... sadly I have had my fill... attitudes have not changed in 4 years, Im not sure they will, even though I still regard each person as an individual, history repeatedly repeated its self. As for my Interests, if they have not changed in over 20 years, I do not think they are going to change, unless I see a need for them to change. I like Gaming, and I will continue to Like gaming.

I still come to these forums at the moment, to make notes about things I see that need improvement or to Note that I think a friend is doing well in a Thread they created. I Did actually stop playing my PS3. Not because I no longer wanted to play it as a game system, yet because My Daughter asked for one thing for Christmas. She asked me for Flower. She is young and did not realize that the only system that Flower is available on was the PS3. So for Christmas I gave her my PS3 with Flower and all my digital games on it. Of course I deleted any video or game content that was not appropriate for her age, yet she fully enjoys a community free, offline gaming system. As do I at the moment. I Now have a Ps2 back up and running with a few Games I didn't have the time to complete once I purchased my Ps3.

I was actually writing this as Mr. Sushi Pirate was Locking this for being bumped from a year ago... yet I guess it is safe to note some of the things that bring me to the point of writings like this one. I will give some examples to help other understand why I was so upset and still am. I also am very appreciative that Mr. Sushi was kind enough to respond so Quickly to my request to unlock the thread while I was writing this.

Best to start at the Start.

I had been a part of HOME's history, before it had actual history. I am not close with Sony Devs, or the Group That made Xi. Ndreams published Xi, yet it has not been stated how the Game came to be in real life. While I was testing a Program, I came a across a person I think is a woman, yet could have been a man dressed as a woman, who told me her friend was upset about missing an Arg. We got into a conversation about it and I suggested that We make her friend their own game. So in the program we were testing we came up with what is now known as Xi... I did not make most of the Clues, just a few, and I was not in the credits, nor was I in the video. Although I had been asked to do my part as Jess in 07. At the time I was reluctant to do so, and I said no. The reason for that was that I was pregnant with twins and my physical appearance was changing rapidly due to my double pregnancy. In that time (about 8 or 9 months) working with the people I was getting to know, I found many moral issues I did not agree with, and to this day I stand my ground on those issues. I always wanted to help and still do. I wished for the best for the community I was part of and worked with. Because I said I would not be in the video, I received scrutiny about my gender and if I was who I said I was. Yet I really did not wish to put to much personal information out there in the open. Being Married, pregnant with Twins and the mother of an 18 month old did not seem like relevant information to a opensource gaming project to me. Yet now I wish I had given the people around me a bit more information about my personal life. They knew I was from Cambridge, yet it did not occur to me at the time that Cambridge is also a UK geographical Spot, so I was inadvertently working with people who thought I was also in the same area of the world as them. Sadly that was not the case. Also there was a man who asked me to marry him in the Program... Still not sure to this day if it was a joke or not... yet at that time the person did not know I was already married, had a child and I was pregnant. So when I said no and explained some situations, that was more fire for the individuals who though I was not really female.

After the incident with the Proposal, I walked away. I also had only one person out of the group that saw my moral standpoint and did not scrutinize me for it. Sadly I do not know who that man was. We did not keep in touch because I went off the Grid, like I am going to do again at the beginning of March. I have contacted the Stapler Email a few times and tried my best to get answers to some of these questions via the community, yet I have found no real answers. At this point its not important enough for me to stress over it. I would still like real answers, yet if the other people involved do not wish to come forward, then I can empathize with that...

During the time I left the project, I was informed that it would be a PS3 program, I was also faced with he fact that I could not spare 900 bucks for the new system, or continue to work with out real compensation. Even though I was offered PSN money as a Bribe, it was never supposed to be a paid project for me, morally I could not accept money for something I had made as a gift to friends, nor could I accept a "job" knowing I was about to go on bed rest, and also Morally I was conflicted with stuff associated with the situation.  

In march 09, I took some of the money I had been saving and bought myself a PS3 and a new Laptop. I wanted to play RE5 and it was not ported to the PS2. Have I mentioned I am a Huge Resi fan. Too bad their Mini ARG for Operation Raccoon city was just as bad an ending as the Xi one. Well to my surprise I stumbled upon PS HOME by accident checking out all the features of my PS3... at first I thought it was a game, like FF11 or WOW. Things started to look awful familiar, and by the time I realized what it was I was already playing the game I helped create.


Well to make this story a little shorter then 20 pages long... I played Xi right along with many others...Sadly I was appalled at some of the stuff I saw, yet I was also impressed with some things. I was kicked out of the first "club" built just to play the game I had helped make, because some of them did not believe what I was telling them about the game or PS HOME... again met by people who could not accept what I was saying as a person in their community. To face the same outcome to a similar situation years apart from each other is proof to me that the HOME and general PS community is not what I want to be a part of for a Gaming community. I have many times voiced my feelings on this, and they have many times been overlooked. I continue to try and make the community a better place, yet often come up against the same difficulties as before. Funny How you could be chilling with someone and not really know who they are... I bet it has happened to me a few times too... and yes I will still take people as individuals, yet the HOME and Forum community as a whole is not really my cup of tea. The side Drama is at times unavoidable, yet an unnecessary part of Gaming. Which is why I am choosing to shut my Internet off at the start of March, like I did at the start of 08.

I have been working on two threads in the recent past, both are critical threads so to speak... One is a Glitch in the PS Plus transaction process, and the other is My stand on the PS Vita and their marketing from an advertised blog post. Both are met with resistance so to speak, yet not on the personal level. Like Mr. Sushi here on this Thread, and Miss Trawnza on the Plus thread, they seem like nice people, very professional, as well as personable as far as communication. Great Examples of Community members. There is a reason they have the job here as MODs. Most of the People at the Vita Hill club were personable too, yet not really as informative as demo staff should be, by no fault of their own...

I might be back at some point to check things out, yet as it stands right now, even though I have about 600 bucks set aside to purchase a VITA and second PS3, I am going to stick with my offline PS2, and just enjoy Gaming on the personal level... I love the idea of community and the idea of online gaming, its just not a community vibe I get when I actually head online to play... I still will keep in touch with a Handful of close online gaming buddy's that I worked with to solve Xi... Until something that peaks my interest enough to drop that 300 bucks for another system, I will continue to game on a stand alone model.

Thanks Potatobreath for the bump, cause I was just going to let this thread drop...

here are the threads I am currently working on...

http://community.us.playstation.com/message/37322434#37322434

I have some more stuff to add to that one tonight cause I found some Blog information from Mr. Sid this morning that pertains to some of my questions.

http://community.us.playstation.com/message/36322177#36322177

and that one I am still waiting for a solution for.

Here are some related Threads that might give you a bit more insight to why I feel the way I do...

This is from May 09

http://community.us.playstation.com/message/24291805#24291805

This post was made shortly before the one above...

http://community.us.playstation.com/message/1825969#1825969

This one is from almost 2 years ago...

http://community.us.playstation.com/message/1897627#1897627

I have worked with many community based groups and projects in the past few years... Some were friendly, Some not so much... Some Devs do good by the community, some do not... knowing how it started and how it could have been if red tape were not an issue and morals were an issue, I can safely say I don't mind walking away again... yet I will listen to others like ImMozB0, and take another look possibly in the future, yet for now... I will bow out peacefully and enjoy my gaming with out distraction from an online network setup. Who knows, Pax might hold options I have not seen yet... I hear conflicting info on if Sony will be at the Pax East convention this year...


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PlayStation MVP
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Re: Why Has my Account been Deleted?

Feb 18, 2012

It's good to hear from you again. I wish you the best.

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Fender Bender
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Re: Why Has my Account been Deleted?

Feb 19, 2012

Thanks PotatoBreath,

I wish you the best too...

I never did get a survey or call back on that call I made that day about that Jess247 account...the CEO did donate to the Miracle Network fund raiser for the Boston Children's hospital last year via contact threw the Stapler email account... Yet other then that no direct contact. I did tell Stapler, love and forgiveness for the situation...

During the time the game was being made I was trying to contact someone from 99 about a Microsoft based virus, (number one reason I do not support Microsoft) which is how I think the virus got into the story line... during that time I was presented with a man who shared a name with the person who got blamed for that said virus, I was told they did not take the blame, yet after some research I realized that a name was all the two people shared... there is still a person who took blame for something he did not do... I was and still am trying to clear that persons name... I also wrote this note to the Stapler email... hopefully I can help fix that situation with time...

I also have not been contacted by the staff working on the Vita or in the Hill Club... even though I noted the thread on the Blog that Mr. Sid wrote about the Answers to Vita questions.

Its funny sometimes how little things in a CommUNITY, can make a big difference... maybe the little things will start to add up...

Happy Gaming

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