I can't even take the OP seriously. A "parent" who doesn't know grammatical structure? Run on sentences? Everything just started running together in a big blur...I can't....
Most people aren't good at grammar - I have read college essays that were by far worse. Also, don't confuse grammar and syntax.
Thank you all for your time this they'd was brought to by your friendly neighbourhood WaffleWhisperer
So you're not an idiot, you're just not funny. Thank God that's settled.