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Sep 07 2012
By: lazarojenrry Wastelander 617 posts
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★ Playstation Royalty & Fun ★

[ Edited ]
8 replies 259 views Edited Sep 9, 2012

                           Hello my name is Ryan and I'm a playstation gamer 

 

         Through generations of playstation systems from one through three these playstation system are one of the most valuable playstation system what Sony Computer Entertainment had been developing from their brilliant ideas. I remember the first time I purchase the Ps3 from GameStop, of my age as a teenager with my father. When I first looked at my Playstation 3 system It's really shiny just like crown jewels In United Kingdom,England. After I've bought 8 Playstation 3 games I first play GTA IV multiplayer and single player.

 

It was fun playing the game over and over again the multiplayer. It was pretty intense when players do crazy stunts and shooting around Is like Saint Rows: The Third. I'm not be the best player In the world but I'm a great shooter. On Call Of Duty 4 Modern Warfare Is where my action lead up to. Now that game I'm a professional Call Of Duty 4 Player players around the world wide saw my score and they're In shock to see how many kills I did now. I'm on the top 6000.

 

On the next morning I heard the wind blowing to my window I look through my window and dark clouds were all over our city Miami. I turn up the my televison volume up to hear the news in Florida. Unexpected a hurricane Isaac touchdown, on the south coast of Florida. They said it going to be a lot of wind and rain would impact So It did my power Is still on and hoping nothing would happen to our house. I took my Playstation systems for cover.

 

About a few days later hurricane Isaac had moved away from Florida gladly no one was injured, but the mess around our street we had to clean It up. The craziest thing that the hurricane didn't do Is make a mess In our backyard. After things are back to normal I play a new game what a friend gave me a code to buy Pay Day: The Heist full game unlock It was ten times fun.

 

You get to rob banks and rob other stuff. The first mission It was hard because I put overkill mode on that part. I was so terrified at the bulldozer meaning the big fat armor swat I kept killing him but there no use. So I grab the shotgun and kept firing at him until his glass helmet breakes and he still alive he shot me on the ground but barely I'm alive too. I use my pistol and one shot In the head and he collapsed. My team mates helped me and pass the level.

 playstation 3 gold Royal Guard Me

I love Playstation systems they're the best for me. Now my photo of the ps3 what I've post the Ps3 skin, when I've bought It was black. So I've though I can change the Ps3 skin to look royalty just like the queen crown from England. The skin was expensive but I've have enough money to buy more skins for my gaming systems I've have the NFL,NBA,Call Of Duty,GTA and more. I've went everywhere on summer vacations U.K,USA States,Canada,Hong Kong. Now for the next summer vacation we're going to Brazil.

 

We're going to have a lot of fun there I've always bring a gaming devices as a kid through today's age 18th. I would take my Playstation vita I've would never stop bringing my games, around the world. My friend would join me on the next summer vacation together But on my birthday on November 7th. My parents going to take me on a surprise trip I'm also going to have a party on Playstation home too.

 

And when I'm going to have more games, for the Ps3. I'm going to take care of my Ps3. The Playstation systems though one though three should be the kings and queens. But todays Ps3 would be officially crowned as The new Kings and queens from world wide. And the Ps3 need a royal guard to take care. I'll always be the royal guard to take care of my Ps3 and enjoy myself In It too. The End

 

All hail the new king and queen The Playstation 3.

 

Long.Live.Playstation

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PlayStation MVP
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Re: ★ Playstation Royalty & Fun ★

Sep 8, 2012

nice story & the PS3 does deserve to be treated like royalty lol cuz its worth it

facebook.com/gamer316
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Splicer
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Re: ★ Playstation Royalty & Fun ★

[ Edited ]
Sep 9, 2012

Hello, I'm really sorry but It kinda hurts reading your sentences, and your story as well. I think you have forgotten to put dot (.) and comma (,)  between the sentences >,< . The tenses were kind of messed up too. If you fix this it's gonna be a better story XD
Have fun though, I love your spirit :smileyvery-happy:

 

P/s:  The winner of the latest Spotlight has written an amazing story, you definitely gotta check it out to learn from it ^^ His ID is         HeathenAmericano, his story is a very fantastic one  ( I participated too but my story was not as good as his story :smileyvery-happy:)

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Wastelander
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Re: ★ Playstation Royalty & Fun ★

[ Edited ]
Sep 8, 2012

Ok I fix It read It again and tell me what paragraph Is wrong I've put comma and a period I fix It tell me Is It better now. And fix the tenses too.

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Splicer
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Re: ★ Playstation Royalty & Fun ★

[ Edited ]
Sep 9, 2012

About your story, I think you put the comma in the wrong places

For instance

 

"these playstation system are one of the, valuable and greatest playstation system"

 

 The first problem is, why put the comma between "the" and "valuable" ? .

 The second one is that when you say "greatest" after "and", it means you should also say "the most valuable" as well (superior).

 The third problem is "Playstation systems" not "system" (without the "s") since you said  "these", "are" and "one of the".

 And the fourth, which doesn't appear in the sentence above, is that when you're telling a story that occurred in the past you should use past simple tense instead of present simple.

 " it going to be a lot of wind and rain would impact"

 "To be verb" is missing...

 "About a few days later hurricane Isaac had moved away from Florida gladly no one was injured, but the mess around our street we had to clean It up"

 Tenses are kind messed up here, but that is not a big deal ? (I hope), however, shouldn't there be comma(s)?

 

Those mistakes scattered everywhere throughout your story, so I hope you can find and fix them all :smileyhappy: Oh and thank you for trying to fix it :smileyvery-happy: (Although you should definitely fix some more).

 

P/s:  The winner of the latest Spotlight has written an amazing story, you definitely gotta check it out to learn from it ^^ His ID is HeathenAmericano, his story is a very fantastic one  ( I participated too but my story was not as good as his story :smileyvery-happy:)

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Wastelander
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Re: ★ Playstation Royalty & Fun ★

Sep 9, 2012

man i'm trying to get the $50 to get the two games BF3 and battlefield 1943 full game unlock so i can buy it i'm getting disappointed because my birthday would be in November 7th and if i don't get my two games BF3 and battlefield 1943 full game unlock what i'm going to buy for $50 this would be my worst birthday ever. And i'll become so very frustrated that they let me down like that. :smileysad: last time a user messed my story by saying grammar there, there but is not there. I'm writing for fun not for negative posting.

so i hope i get $50. or something.

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Splicer
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Re: ★ Playstation Royalty & Fun ★

[ Edited ]
Sep 9, 2012

I'm sorry but I was just trying to help, but If you really want a 50$ that desperately then you should fix it to make it better than others.

Even a story with perfect grammar, tenses and writing can't be sure 100% be the winner, so I think you will have to try a lot harder :smileysad:
Wish you best, try your best, don't give up dude :smileysad: Sorry If it hurts you , I was just trying to help. Don't hate me , okay? :smileyhappy:

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First Son
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Re: ★ Playstation Royalty & Fun ★

Sep 11, 2012

gay but the gold ps3 is tight

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Wastelander
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Re: ★ Playstation Royalty & Fun ★

Sep 11, 2012

carefully of wat you saying the royal guard from a friend that work on it and i set my Ps3 perfectly with the red cloth so no more negative.

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