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Nov 13 2009
By: MrChungles Splicer 64 posts
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Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

68 replies 35 views Edited Nov 13, 2009
Ah, life. How sweet you have become since Go entered my life...

It was a cold, wet and lonesome night; surrounded with the crippling atmosphere of complete solitude, my pre-Go console my only companion. Its heavy load distorting my spine, its widened length creating an embarrassing bulge in my pockets, I was rendered a man without peers; a SOCOM-playing social outcast.

Then, to my shock, a bright light burst through my window, enveloping every corner of my cavernous abode. A voice, deep and grainy, spoke.

'My son, no longer shall you have to make do with this lousy impractical device that makes girls not want to touch you! No longer shall you wade through the streets, filled with all the girls that won't touch you, to get your ugly little cartridges! For I bring to you: THE GO!'

As quickly as the light erupted into my bedroom, it was gone. Those final words continued to echo for what seemed like days.

I quickly ran to the nearest store to claim my redemption! Within seconds of opening the compact box - oh, for it was compact! - girls began to approach me! Groups upon groups of girls began to caress me and stare lovingly at my shiny black portable gaming machine! As I write, 4 girls are suckling on various parts of my body. This is my life now. My Go life.

Oh, what a fool I had been! Walking around, awkwardly shifting my pants so as to hide the huge bulge created where my comparatively-lacklustre 'member' resides! Stacking cartridge upon cartridge, as girls pointed and laughed at my growing column of creepiness. 'We'll never touch you with that awkwardly-large piece of equipment in your hands' they would all shout! How could I not have realised, have seen, that there was a life, a Go life, that offered so many riches? so many touches from girls!

Oh, dear envious non-Go 'people', I understand your plight. I lived your 'life'. Your palid skin untouched and unloved. All because of that brick you ashamedly held in your hands, nay arms (for it was that big)! I understand the green mist that spreads through your eyes as quickly as the light shone through my bedroom that night. To aspire to look cool, to be up-to-date technologically, to ride the waves of modernity. TO GET TOUCHED BY GIRLS! I understand how these desires can affect ones perspectives towards cooler people who have already fulfilled them.

But all is not lost! You can be cool, you can be up-to-date, you can surf the bodacious crests of acceptance, you can finally feel the warming touch of a girl's loving fingers! All you have to do is stop being poor. Make a little bit more money, rid yourself of those archaic heavy devices, and acquire a Go. A Go life.
- Militantly Go. -
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Survivor
Registered: 04/02/2009
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Re: Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

Nov 13, 2009
Please nobody Kudo this man boy.
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Gaming Beast
Registered: 08/14/2009
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Re: Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

Nov 13, 2009

plz tell me that this was meant to be funny?

 

if not:

 

Young-_genius2
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Uncharted Territory
Registered: 08/12/2008
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Re: Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

Nov 13, 2009
Buy a big Memory Stick Pro Duo. Problem solved for those of us who don't have a Go. Nice story however.
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Wastelander
Registered: 04/30/2009
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Re: Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

Nov 13, 2009

I don't know if i want to laugh or facepalm maybe both

 

I hope this is some joke thread

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First Son
Registered: 01/04/2009
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Re: Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

Nov 13, 2009
After reading this thread, I laughed myself silly! LOL Thank you for this joke thread.
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Lombax Warrior
Registered: 07/24/2009
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Re: Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

Nov 13, 2009

Shouldn't you be playing with your..... errr.... ummm.... GO? :smileytongue:

 

I see all kinds of posts coming for yours.


Video Games Destroyed My Life!!!
Good Thing I Have 2 Extra Lives.....
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Monster Hunter
Registered: 11/10/2008
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Re: Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

Nov 13, 2009
This should make the flme war hall of shame, I guess you were leaning to close to you GO when it slid open and hit you in the head
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Uncharted Territory
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Re: Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

Nov 13, 2009
Sony should take your idea and turn it into a commercial now that I think of it.
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Survivor
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Re: Do non-Go 'people' envy the fact girls will touch Go people?

Nov 13, 2009

HongoXIII wrote:
Sony should take your idea and turn it into a commercial now that I think of it.

How are they going to turn those sexual euphemisms into a commercial?

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