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Apr 16 2013
By: BigBrotherKaz Wastelander 562 posts
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6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

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33 replies 949 views Edited Apr 17, 2013

We've all dreamed about being a superhero when we were little kids. I know I did. I would wish that a truck full of radioactive waste would crash in to my house or I'd find a magic amulet lodged inside a tree. It never happened. I wanted a superpower so bad that I didn't even care what power it was. Now as an adult, I've come to realize that most superpowers would actually be really inconvenient and lame if you had to deal with having them all the time. Here are superpowers that would suck to have.

 

Magnetism Manipulation

super charged magneto

 

Why It Should Rule

Magneto is one of the most badass mutants in the Marvel Universe. He has total control over any metal that has magnetic properties. He can do anything from making force fields to flying to throwing tanks at you. He even pulled all of the adamantium out of Wolverine at one point. With this kind of power you'd definitely be able to rule the world.

sad magneto

 

Why It Would Suck

Hard drives are magnetic and they get erased when they are around a strong magnet. That's right. If you have magnetism manipulation powers, then you can never use a computer or play a video game. What is the point of ruling the world if you can't spend your free time leisurely playing Call Of Duty while someone feeds you grapes?

 

Invulnerability

superman wlaking in to bullets

 

Why It Should Rule

Invulnerability is a power that makes it so absolutely nothing can hurt you. You could walk away from the center of a nuclear explosion if you wanted to. There would be absolutely no situation that would be too dangerous for you so you'd go down as one of the greatest superheroes in history.

superman connecting railroad

 

Why It Would Suck

Since nothing can hurt you then you're going to have to do a lot of incredibly dangerous stuff all the time. Whenever there is a situation where someone could get killed, they will call on you all day every day to come fix the problem. It would probably eventually get boring the hundredth time you have to save a bus full of kids from a volcano. The other thing that would suck is that everyone would constantly try to kill you. They wouldn't be successful, but it would get old about the thousandth time someone tries to stab you with a flea market katana.

 

Also, as contribute by Bronxsushi "You would be immune to Alchohol. You could never get drunk (or high), ever again. I would not want to live in the world like that."

 

Talking To Fish

aquaman fish army

 

Why It Should Rule

People make fun of Aquaman all the time, I know I did, because they claim he has a useless power. I personally think it would awesome to be able to talk to fish to have them do your bidding. The earth is covered with over 70% water. That means if you had fish talking powers then you'd be the most powerful superhero on the majority of the planet.

dumb fish drawing

 

Why It Would Suck

The thing about talking to fish is that fish have extremely short memories. It's kind of hard to get something to do your bidding if it can't even remember that you had a conversation five minutes ago. Fish are also scared of everything so most of your conversations will involve you explaining that you aren't there to kill and eat them.

 

X-Ray Vision

supergirl detecting fake breasts

 

Why It Should Rule

Every perverted 12 year old hopes that they could somehow get X-Ray Vision. It's mostly with the intent of getting to see some naked ladies. At that age, all we know are teh bewbz r jawesome and we want to see them somehow. You could also use your powers to spot criminals through walls who have maybe broken in to a bank or whatever. The bewbz are the number one most important thing here.

naked lady xray of bones

 

Why It Would Suck

First off, X-Ray vision wouldn't let you see any bewbz at all. You'd see through the bewbz and just see a bunch of skeletons running around all the time. It'd be like living a nightmarish hellscape. Secondly, you're going to give everyone you know cancer. X-Rays are legit radiation and not the good give-you-super-powers kind. It's the give-you-cancer kind of radiation. Not seeing bewbz is the number one more important thing here.

 

Super Intelligence

the leader

 

Why It Should Rule

The human mind can be an awesome tool for conquest. If you were any smarter than you are now, you'd be able to invent any technology or cure any disease. Having super intelligence would let you lead the Earth in to a golden age of enlightenment where we all fly around with jet packs on and no one has irritable bowel syndrome and everyone has video games built in the their brain.

minesweeper meme

 

Why It Would Suck

Being smarter than everyone is depressing. You can feel really isolated when everyone around you is a total moron. There wouldn't be anyone worth talking to so you'll probably end up just staying at home and playing Minesweeper on expert all night. It doesn't matter how smart you are if you never actually accomplish anything.

 

Time Travel

bill and ted screen grab

 

Why It Should Rule

I love history and there would be nothing more awesome than getting to go back in time and party with all of history's greatest figures. You could go horseback riding with Genghis Khan. You could stow away on the Apollo moon mission. Or even better yet, save Abe Lincoln. You could even attend an orgy with Ben Franklin. He was really in to those. You could also go back in time and right some horrible wrong and change the course of humanity for the better if you really felt like it.

homer simpson destroying the past

Why It Would Suck

Time is very sensitive and complex. You never know how your actions might accidentally change the course of human history for the worst. It could be something as simple as stepping on the wrong flower and then you come back to the future and the whole planet is over run by cyborgs. Then you have to go back and not step on the flower, but you instead you accidentally squash a fly and the unthinkable happens. Pokemon never existed. It's just way too much work to go back in time safely to even bother with it at all.

 

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Re: 6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

Apr 16, 2013

Lol, funny post. Once again...another blog esque subject.

 

Problem with your pro-cons list is most, if not all super-powers im aware of can be controlled. Therefore, wouldnt really suck at all.

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Re: 6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

Apr 16, 2013

Setzaroth wrote:

Lol, funny post. Once again...another blog esque subject.

 

Problem with your pro-cons list is most, if not all super-powers im aware of can be controlled. Therefore, wouldnt really suck at all.


i would like to start a blog really, but I don't know how LOL :smileyhappy:

 

Well, it's not a pro and cons list LOL, I'm just trying to say that these power, eventhough may sound awesome, can be very crappy some time and really suck to have, I mean, take Magnetic Power for example, you can't play video games or even watch TV with that power anymore :smileyhappy:

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Re: 6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

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Apr 16, 2013

I would say Tony Chu from the comic Chew has one of the worst powers ever. Tony is a cibopath, meaning anything he gets a bite of he gets psychic impressions from.  If he eats a steak he knows how the cow lived...and died.  If he works on a murder case that he needs to solve he literally needs to take a bite out of crime.

 

Needless to say, Tony is normally a vegan and Chew is a really great comic.

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Re: 6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

Apr 16, 2013

Unicorn--Justice wrote:

I would say Tony Chu from the comic Chew has one of the worst powers ever. Tony is a cibopath, meaning anything he gets a bite of he gets psychic impressions from.  If he eats a steak he knows how the cow lived...and died.  If he works on a murder case that he needs to solve he literally needs to take a bite out of crime.

 

Needless to say, Tony is normally a vegan and Chew is a really great comic.


wow, that sounds hilarious.

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Re: 6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

Apr 16, 2013

BigBrotherKaz wrote:

Setzaroth wrote:

Lol, funny post. Once again...another blog esque subject.

 

Problem with your pro-cons list is most, if not all super-powers im aware of can be controlled. Therefore, wouldnt really suck at all.


i would like to start a blog really, but I don't know how LOL :smileyhappy:

 

Well, it's not a pro and cons list LOL, I'm just trying to say that these power, eventhough may sound awesome, can be very crappy some time and really suck to have, I mean, take Magnetic Power for example, you can't play video games or even watch TV with that power anymore :smileyhappy:


I'm pretty sure you could.

 

Magneto has gone around cities before and it's not like all the TVs and big screens around him simply break.


He's not a permanent magnet. More like an electromagnet (where, when he's "off", there is no magnetism at all)

 

He has to actually USE his magnetic powers for it to have an effect.

 

 

 

For invulnerablity: Who says you have to save people? Only you would really know that you're invulnerable.

 

For X-ray vision: You won't give people cancer. As has been seen in many superman movies, it's more of a psychic ability to see through walls. He doesn't see bones. He sees full picture through whichever object he chooses.

 

For talking to fish: That's not a superpower, that's just stupid.

 

For Super Intelligence: Since you are the smartest, you can win every argument. And winning arguments is awesome.

 

For time Travel: You are assuming that your actions would actually change events. For all you know, the world is really like Bioshock Infinite (in that there are an infinite number of parallel worlds) and so that doing something would just change the scenario for that world.

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Re: 6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

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Apr 16, 2013

Magnet power - I agree with, would suck. Don't walk into a kitchen appliance store unless you wanna get hit in the face with a frying pan out of nowhere.

Invulnerability - Meh...I don't really see the con in that. If you were to be invincible, and become a professional Boxer or MMA fighter, do you know what you could accomplish? Not only that, but it would be cool to have people depend on you, and asking your help in dire situations, it's better than sitting at home all day. Also, you honestly think not being able to die from a gunshot or a stab from a katana, is a bad thing? Sure, it would get annoying, but it would be funny as well, to see some guy pull a gun on you and keep shooting you and you just keep walking towards him.

Talking to fish - Would be a stupid power either way, because I would rather talk to Dogs or Cats. I'm not near the ocean or lake enough to care about fish in the first place.

X Ray Vision - I always thought about that, lol. You wish you could see bewbz, but instead, you see their skeleton, just like an x ray machine would obviously do, so that would be a freaky power to have indeed.

Super intelligence - Now I would love this one, I don't care if everyone seemed like a moron to me, because I would teach them what I know, I hang out with morons right now, so it wouldn't change anything except for me being super intelligent.

Time travel - I don't believe in the butterfly effect at all...to think that smashing a flower will change the whole course of the future, is just ridiculous. So I would love this power. Now, killing someone, or marrying someone, or breaking up a marriage you shouldn't have, that could alter the future, but not bad enough to where Michael Jackson is president and then for some odd reason Rick James runs the government, it would most likely alter your own future, not the worlds future, because, lets put it this way:

Lets say, you go back in time and break up your parents marriage, obviously your never going to be born, but does that mean that the whole world is going to change just because you weren't born and your parents didn't get married? Of course not, only YOUR future would change. Lets say you beat up the school bully who used to pick on you, does that mean the whole world is going to change? No, it means your school bully will prob be your kiss up neighbor in the future, who does anything you want because he's scared of you, only alters your future.

If it alters it bad or good, is up to you, and how you decide to change whats in the past. But a Fly isn't going to change the whole outcome of the future...

Anyways, I would love to have Time Travel, Intelligence, or Invincibility.

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Re: 6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

Apr 16, 2013

BigBrotherKaz wrote:

homer simpson destroying the past



one of the best Treehouse of Horror episodes.

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oh yeah, the rest of your post was great too. :smileyvery-happy: :smileytongue:

 


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Re: 6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

Apr 16, 2013

I would love to have any of these powers!!! Time Travel is the only one that seems to have a legit downside though. One little thing you do in the past messes up the future, like The Butterfly Effect. I want to use an example here! So let's journey back to 1963, what if you prevented Kennedy from dying? The presidency would be very different from it would be today.

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Re: 6 Superpowers It Would Suck To Have

Apr 16, 2013
Heaven, that's not the butterfly effect. The butterfly effect is the theory that if you were to go back in time, and kill a butterfly, then it would alter the whole future. Or, an exact definition:

"The butterfly effect is a term used in chaos theory to describe how small changes to a seemingly unrelated thing or condition (also known as an initial condition) can affect large, complex systems."

Saving Kennedy from dying would have not been a small unrelated thing to our future, it would have been a very important thing to change in the past. You can prevent things like that if you could time travel, but you can't prevent accidently stepping on a flower, it just happens, you could sit down and kill a bug in the past by accident, and alter the future, which is what the downside of the power was saying, but I don't believe in that doohickey.
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